Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
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Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
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I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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