I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
