omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Randomize
