sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
