He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
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Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
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Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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