Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
