I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
