Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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