FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
