I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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