WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
