Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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