Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
