I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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