You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
