But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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