Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
