So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
