Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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