So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Randomize
