I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
