if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.