Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work