How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
