I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
