So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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