we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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