The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
