I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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