I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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