so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
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You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize