if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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