I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
