508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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