he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
