I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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