I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
