You work out of a Hotel?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
