wat bout pragnant strippers??
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
