He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
