david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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