Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
