Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
