Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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