Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
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