Buhtt sex?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
We talked him into tasing himself.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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