I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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