worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
