We're facebook friends in real life
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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