I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
