bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
