...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
