last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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