yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
