somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
