im drinking this country out of the recession.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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