You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.