the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
