New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize