Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
