I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
