maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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