im having a threesome with these popsicles
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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