you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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