how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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