I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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