I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
